Wow this is a very late it’s the small things! But someone appeared mid month and life changed forever!
This post is going to mostly be pictures of the little thing that’s turned our world upside down and made our lives complete.
Here are the small things that made my August.
Finishing the nursery all ready for our little man and now finally being able to reveal his name!
Enjoying last bump and dog waking days
Taking my final bump pic.
Making the final hospital run….
He’s here!!! Welcome to the world Oran 💙
Our welcome home.
Our first family walk.
My world in one picture.
Let sleeping babies lie.
Being spoilt with personalised jewellery with my boys initial and birth stone.
Getting amazing handmade presents.
Sitting back and taking it all in. So many times over the last five years I dreamed of this exact picture.
Enjoying our first bath.
Making the little man all official.
Finishing the month just chilling out!
And that was August. A month that our lives changed forever. After 5 long years our dreams came true and this little man made our lives complete.
It’s a little late however finally it’s time for the small things that made me smile in July.
Crazy upside down toy playing Schnauzers.
Beautiful flowers from a beautiful friend.
The cutest wardrobe organisers arriving.
My two boys sitting side by side.
Good hospital appointments and coffee dates with the hubby.
The nursery starting to come together and seeing my Disney stuffed toys getting a new home.
Dog walks to my favourite spot.
Last break away as our little family of three!
And last day at work!!
Amazing parcels delivered by amazing friends.
Amazing talented friend making me cry with this for the nursery.
And that was July! I’ve a feeling August may be dominated with a certain someone arriving…. watch this space!
I’m very late this month but here are the small things that made my June! It’s been a very quiet, mainly baby related month for me as tiredness and nesting takes over!
Reaching the third trimester.
Receiving a huge parcel from my amazing American sister in law.
Gazing at a sight I never did believe we would see.
Loving when the flowers bloom.
Getting some Schnauzer love when resting up.
Making playlists for the little mans arrival.
Laughing and resting food on my bump while car park lunching.
Ending the month with an amazing sunset.
And not being able to resist getting the dog to pose with it!
And that was June. Quiet but just what I need at the minute!
I’m a little late this month but here are the things that made my month of May.
Flying home to spend time with my family.
Girly afternoon teas.
Making prints for the nursery
Enjoying coffees and sunshine walks
Reaching double figures in our baby countdown!
Not being able to resist these cute mugs
Receiving the most beautiful handmade present
Embracing the bump
Enjoying Saturday mornings going old skool!
Sorting baby things
Finding the car a little hot after visiting a patient.
Partaking in a little mocktail
Being very very thankful
Enjoying time with my two loves
Reaching the third trimester
Loving surprise flowers
Starting birthing classes.
And that was my May.
Today the 31st May, marks world Multiple Sclerosis day. A day to raise awareness of Multiple Sclerosis worldwide, to show people what it is like to live with this illness day in and day out, to try to get a little bit more understanding of life with an invisible illness.
As most of you know who read my blog already, I was recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in the latter part of last year, though like most people, I have been most likely living with the illness for the guts of 10 years. I count myself lucky that up until the 20th August 2016 any symptoms that I was experiencing, that can now be linked to the illness were not impacting on my day to day life. That all changed on that day though when I lost the use of my left leg and slowly over the course of two weeks, the majority of my left side. It was a scary time and I was very lucky to get an urgent MRI which resulted in a very quick diagnosis.
My life changed forever on the day of diagnosis and slowly I am learning a new way of life, life that has to be planned that little bit more due to the high levels of fatigue that I now live with. My symptoms are mostly invisible to others, though when my legs decide to stop working everyone can see that part!
Mainly my MS affects my mobility, some of my more ‘invisible’ symptoms include: Numbness, weakness, spasticity, fatigue, bladder issues, bowel issues and fatigue. When I write it down like that it seems like a lot!
Multiple Sclerosis is an unwelcome visitor in my life but it is one that I need to learn to live with, please help me along the way by trying to understand it that little bit more.
I can’t believe I am writing this at 6.5months pregnant! I wrote here about my struggles with the amount of feelings that I wasn’t expecting when we found out after 5 years of battling infertility that we were finally pregnant.
I am pleased to say that overall the majority of these feelings have settled and I have been able to find enjoyment in this pregnancy which I am really pleased about. It took a lot of work on my part to get my head into a good place and I think that having our 20 week scan with no issues found really helped me turn a corner and have finally allowed me to enjoy this stage in my life. I know that we are likely to only ever be blessed with this once and I don’t want to look back and think that I wasn’t able to enjoy any of the moments associated with pregnancy.
We decided that we would find out the gender, it is something that we thought long and hard about but something that we knew in our hearts was right for us and we were not wrong. Finding out what we are expecting has really helped us to bond, to plan, to get even more excited and to feel that this is really happening. We are over the moon to say we are……
We are so excited to be on Team Blue and this weekend we even finally decided on his name. We are not going to be telling anyone that though as we do want to keep some surprises! But we love it and are hoping that everyone else does when he arrives.
A little pregnancy, how I am doing update I suppose wouldn’t go amiss. I am currently under consultant led care due to my recent diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis (I am planning to blog more about my pregnancy and MS directly as time goes on) and will be back into see her when I am 32 weeks. She has offered me the option of induction at 38 weeks if my MS is proving to be too much of a problem so that will be something to think about as we get closer to the time of the appointment, currently I am undecided as to what is best but do know that I will be requesting induction at 40 weeks as there is no way my body could cope with going over and the stresses that that brings (stress really spikes off my MS symptoms) I was also told at my 20 week scan that I had a low lying placenta which currently is not something major to worry about as most will move by the latter stages of pregnancy but I will be re scanned at 34 weeks to check if this has happened, fingers crossed it will have and we will have had a bonus scan too so there are silver linings!
My bump is developing nicely, I am getting all the usual pregnancy related comments, ‘oh you are huge’ followed closely by someone else saying ‘oh you are so neat’! honestly though it did my head in so much when it started happening but now I am just trying to ignore it and embrace my changing body. After all it is growing our miracle.
I am going to try to blog a little more as we enter the third trimester, I was worried about upsetting some of my friends who are still in the trenches but I have to set that to one side as it was really affecting my enjoyment of this time in my life that I really didn’t think I would ever experience. If you think that you might be triggered by my posts I will not take any offence if you no longer follow the blog and I wish you all the best in your journeys.
It’s time for the small things that made me smile in April.
Daffodils as far as you can see.
Finding out we are Team Blue 💙💙
Baby mags, coffees and sunbathing dogs.
Enjoying a lazy Easter long weekend.
Forever being reminded how lucky we are after 5 long years of battling infertility.
Beginning the hard task of name choosing.
Enjoying lazy Sunday mornings.
Raising awareness of Multiple Sclerosis in MS awareness week.
Reaching first viability milestone #6monthspregnant
Flying home for a lovely weekend with the family before the little man arrives.
And that was April
It’s time for the small things that made me smile in March.
Sunshine and takeaway coffees. Overnight hotel breaks.
Sleepy Schnauzers relaxing in hotels.
Finding the most perfect baby vests.
New food diaries.
Schnauzer meet ups.
Ikea coffee and cake.
The perfect mum to be Mother’s Day.
Dignified sunbathing Schnauzers.
A weekend filled with sunshine and walks.
Enjoying spring flowers.
And that was March. Let’s see what April brings.
Well that’s a title and a half isn’t it! Obviously those of you who follow my blog know all about my success with losing weight with Slimming World, being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and then finding out that after a long battle with infertility that I was pregnant.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently about how to manage my weight alongside having a healthy happy pregnancy with limited impact on my Multiple Sclerosis. There are lots of things to think about there, but already I’ve been met with a lot of comments verging more on the negative side. I know overall people don’t mean it but commenting on the fact that I’m trying to look after myself during this pregnancy by continuing to follow Slimming World is quite annoying!
My first trimester was not good eating and looking after myself wise. I had constant nausea from week 6-13 and the only thing that really helped was eating, but of course, fruit and vegetables weren’t going to cut it. The only thing that helped were white carbs and lots of them. When I eventually took myself back to my Slimming World group I had gained 13lbs at 15 weeks pregnant which was a shock to the system! But it was the shock that I needed to help me rethink exactly what I was doing (and eating) and thankfully my weight gain appears to have slowed down lots which is so much better for me both personally and physically.
I have another extra level to think about too with my recent diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. Before falling pregnant I was following a fairly strict MS friendly diet which again went to the wayside somewhat in the first trimester. The MS diet focuses a lot on keeping saturated fat content low along with being more plant based with no refinded foods and it gets great results. That is something that I am again trying to refocus on.
As I said, I’ve had lots of comments about why I’m crazy to be even thinking of following Slimming World, that I should just eat what I want, that I’m going to gain weight so just go with it, to not weigh myself at all during pregnancy as what’s the point. I obviously know I am going to gain weight and I’m happy to do so, this is something I have dreamed of for many years, jeez it was one of the key reasons I lost the weight in the first place. But I am not willing to jeopardise my health for ‘eating for two’ there is too much at risk for me if I gain too much weight.
So what’s the plan then? I have bought a gorgeous new pregnancy friendly slimming world diary which I’m going to start keeping track of what I’m eating, I’m going to weigh in at my Slimming World group monthly. I’m going back to basics with my MS friendly plan incorporated into Slimming World and I’m going to relax and be happy knowing that I’m doing my best to look after myself and my baby during pregnancy but also making as much attempt as I can to not be holding too much weight post birth that may affect my mobility with my MS.
My lovely Fox and Moon planner
Wish me luck!
This is a post that is very hard to write, pregnancy after infertility is not quite how I expected it to be. There I said it. It’s not all a bed of roses with happiness at every turn. In fact is currently the opposite really. I feel that infertility has robbed me of the joy of being pregnant, robbed me of my innocence where all things pregnancy are concerned. It has left me afraid to even enjoy being pregnant. Something I never thought I would be experiencing, something that I have found hard to acknowledge never mind talk about openly. But today I decided that that needed to change and I took to twitter to voice my worries over feeling detached and a little flat overall about being pregnant. It would seem that I am very much not alone in these thoughts, with so many lovely ladies reaching out to me today to say that they felt the same, that they understood. And do you know what I have realised today. It is okay to feel this way.
Pregnancy after infertility is a strange place to be, you are neither back in the trenches or really feeling that you belong in with other ‘fertile’ pregnant ladies, feeling isolated, feeling in limbo, not fitting in the infertility world any longer but not fitting in the fertile world either. I mean, would someone who never experienced the bumpy road of infertility understand why I am struggling to get excited about preparing for the baby, how I am not excited about choosing things for the nursery, about how it really doesn’t feel like I deserve this after this length of time, so why would it actually be happening to me?. Some of the friendships I have built up over the years from the blog and from twitter suddenly feel off-limits, not due to those lovely ladies, don’t get me wrong, everyone has been lovely to me. But I don’t want to hurt anyone. A pregnancy after infertility is hard enough sometimes for those still stuck waiting to see if their time will ever come, never mind one that actually ended up being a natural pregnancy.
Don’t get me wrong, I have had exciting times, I have felt emotions of joy and complete amazement that this is currently happening to me. But these feelings aren’t sustained currently, generally I am just feeling that little bit flat about it all. Why am posting about this though? Well I think that by talking about it, it will help me, by opening up to the fact that it is not what I expected it to be will help me to deal with the thoughts and emotions that are attached to that, help me to move on and get enjoyment out of the pregnancy that I have waited so long for. To no longer feel an imposter in the world of pregnancy.