I am shocked, surprised, overwhelmed and feeling this is happening to someone else but very very happy to say that on Friday we got a letter from the assisted conception unit to say that we have been booked in for our initial consultation in JUNE! Sorry for the capitals but considering we were told in our last letter it would be 6 months we weren’t expecting to be called to the clinic until end of September at the earliest.
This letter has brought with it, happiness but it has thrown things all out, we haven’t allowed ourselves to think/look into IVF too much figuring we still had plenty of time to try naturally. We have a break away booked for August and we had planned to have a wee week abroad before hopefully starting treatment in October/November time. Now the August holiday may well be in the middle of our first cycle and we won’t have any time to do a foreign trip before we start. I know these aren’t big things but it kinda throws your world upside down for a few days while you move your plans all around in your head.
Though despite being thrown by the letter I have to be happy, this is something that despite never wanting – though let’s face it, is there anyone who actually wants to go through IVF?! I think about all the time, dream about having my own family, doing so much with my own little family. All my future visions have at least one child being with us. At this point that still seems like it could be a reality.
I’m not naive though, I’ve seen the percentages for successful pregnancies from IVF and they are by no means high but as with every other aspect of this whole getting pregnant lark I am going into this feeling hopeful and positive. I’ve started looking into it more to get some idea of what may happen and I follow an amazing bunch of ladies on twitter all going/gone through IVF so that’s really helping. There is no way I could do this on my own that’s for sure.
I just keep thinking this could be the start of our real journey to parenthood, IVF will mean (hopefully) getting an actual fertilised egg something I have no idea whether we have ever managed to get this far. Off course a fertilised egg doesn’t mean pregnancy but it’s one step closer.
Here we go…..
There was no weight loss Wednesday post last week as I flew home to surprise my Mum for her birthday and this weeks will be a short post due to not moving a huge amount and eating too much!
I did still keep my fitbit on and these are last weeks stats.
I still managed a good 24 miles over the week which I’m really happy about though I’ve been drinking (after nearly 10 weeks with none) and not exactly eating the best…..cupcakes anyone?!? So I’m not surprised this week to be reporting a gain.
Now I need to get my head back into Slimming World which really hasn’t been happening recently, my willpower has been taking a bashing. I need to be responsible for what I eat so out comes my food diary again.
This week I have been trapped in a room doing a long training course so I feel that I really haven’t had the chance to get my normal amount of steps in. I did still try and get my long walks in and again managed,
as I said though, it’s my overall steps I feel have suffered and it has really shown me that despite not feeling overly active at work that I am in fact on my feet quite a lot in between visits.
Food wise though, I’ve not been sticking to things fully, I’ve stopped writing it down and I’ve been eating a few to many biscuits at this course. So this week I’m still happy to report a loss but a small one.
But a loss is a loss and onto a new week!
It’s been my weekend at work this week so not as much walking as I would have liked this week. I’ve tried adding little extras to the long walks to try and make them up and am still happy with my Fitbit stats.
I’ve tried to get back on plan and I would say I’m there about 80% but not fully. I’ve been lazy and ordered a takeaway and we have also been out for lunch and coffee and cakes. The rest of the time though I have been sticking to plan. I’m happy to see last weeks gain come off again this week plus a little extra 1 lb!
My plan this week is no takeaways!
I listened into the Fertility Focus Telesummit last week and really enjoyed it. There were some really interesting speakers and lots of hints and tips and things to look out for or try in our next few months whilst we wait for IVF. We are still hoping that it will happen naturally before then and have both decided that we are going to give it our all for these next 4 or 5 months.
There were a few things that were said that really made me think about how I live our situation day to day.
Create good emotional health through the whole of your life. Sjanie from The Fertile Body reminded me that I need to find things I love doing, that make me feel good, that give me joy and a no brainer really….do these things more often. This is such a simple statement but something that is so easy to forget when you are in the throws of infertility. Suddenly instead of doing things you enjoy you are on the internet looking up so called symptoms or looking up things that may possibly help this month. Time flies past in a blur of trying to figure out what it is you are doing wrong.
This is where the next way of living needs to come in.
Implement the 80/20 rule. Anya from The Fertility Coach mentioned this and it really hit home to me. Think about who you are outside the infertility box and aim to implement the 80/20 rule when it comes to thinking about your fertility. Basically the trick is to spend 80% of the day trying as much as possible to live your life in the now, focus, yes you have guessed it on things that you love doing, that make you feel good and that give you joy. Then the other 20% of your day focus on and address your infertility. No longer allow yourself to feel that infertility is all of you. Spend time each day on your fertility, whether that be thinking about the future, planning things you need to do or focusing on the more positive things like fertility massage, relaxation, mindfulness etc. It was even suggested putting these into your diary which I think is a great idea. It’s like giving yourself permission to have some me time and you know we all need me time.
So as you can gather the telesummit got me thinking, thinking about all the stuff I enjoy and why I am no longer finding the time to do it. Helped along by watching this video. It really made me think. One of the things that is holding me back is that I am spending far to long on my phone or iPad and not enough time living in the here in now. I may feel like I’m living in the here and now but I know I’m not and mainly using it as a distraction.
So here is my plan to make more time for and get back to doing the things I enjoy in life.
- Delete Facebook from my phone
- Cut down time on twitter dramatically
- Going on from the facebook/twitter thing, my plan is to only allow myself to check it once in a while and not when I am watching TV! It’s so easy to watch a program but in fact you aren’t really concentrating on it more watching it with one eye on your phone and one on the TV.
- Plan my time better in the evenings so that I feel I have time to do things I enjoy.
- Get my crochet out, it’s been quite a while since I made anything. I’ve been putting it off as really I only learnt so I could make our baby things and that hasn’t happened. I need to find other things that I can make and get practicing again.
- Start reading more in the evenings, especially when hubby has the TV for his many sports
- Stop pining things on pinterest and actually start making them!
- Spend more time with my friends
- Spending time on my blog and following blogs that I love.
- Make sure I am putting time in my diary for nice things to do with infertility. I want to spend time doing some visualisation/relaxation and learn more about nutrition for fertility and fertility massage. All of these things I have no doubt will make me feel far better about myself.
I think that all of this is achievable, in fact I deleted the facebook app of my phone yesterday and haven’t missed it. I have also been really limiting my time on twitter and yesterday after work I read my book and then watched a movie. Yesterday despite my period arriving I managed to live a near on perfect 80/20 day and do you know what? It felt good!
I was tagged by the gorgeous Laura of Lifelovelaura to go on a trip down memory lane and let you all into what I was up to 10 years ago. You can read all about what Laura was doing here
I had to go and dig out the photo album to remind myself what I was doing 10 years ago, that’s shocking I can’t remember!
Ten years ago….I had just turned 26
Ten years ago…. We were just settling into our first proper all grown up, eeep we have a mortgage, what do we do now flat and spending hours gazing out the window to this view. Excuse the grainy pictures.
Ten years ago…. I lived in the Isle Of Man. I moved there for 6 months and ended up staying for 7 years.
Ten years ago…. I was 2 years into my relationship with my now husband. I knew then we would get married, though I didn’t know then I would need to wait another 7 years to finally be made Mrs S!
Ten years ago…. I had given up a good job with the bank to go and work in a Mental Health day centre, I didn’t realise then that this would change my career path completely and set me on the course to go to university and train to be a nurse.
Ten years ago…. We went on our first cruise around the med and totally loved it! This holiday made us fall in love with cruising, I only wish we could afford to do it more.
Ten years ago…. With the help of the best man in the world I was getting my head in a good place and taking charge of negative thought patterns. I did an online course on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and totally changed my outlook to life. I credit taking this step with changing my life. I know that sounds a bit crazy but honestly I was on self destruct in my head due to a really negative friendship and I dread to think how I would be now if I hadn’t of challenged those negative thoughts.
Ten years ago…. We had a great circle of friends, a great social life and were loving living on the Isle Of Man, even though we regularly had to make trips to the mainland to remain sane!
What were you up to ten years ago? Dare you remember?!?! I tag Clare at Bee Happy and Healthy, Laura at Never Entirely Satisfied and Gaynor at Our Day by Design