Image From Itty Bitty
The thing with Unexplained Infertility is that I don’t think you can ever give up hope. There’s technically nothing wrong with you, so why wouldn’t you get pregnant this month? But…..why would you this month when the last however many months you haven’t despite there being technically nothing wrong? This is my life, month in and month out, hoping it works this time, dreaming, wishing, praying, knowing there is no reason why it shouldn’t.
But… Also spending the month trying to be realistic, keeping the hope alive but not allowing it to get that bit too much that I actually believe that this month will be different, you see that’s just too hard. It’s a very fine balance this hope lark! I always want to have it because I mean really what is life without hope? But not too much of it that I get carried away and have myself convinced that it will be our month because when the pain hits yet again that it’s not it can all be just a little too much.
I know it’s wrong, but sometimes I do still wish that there was in fact something wrong, a real reason I could say ‘oh I can’t get pregnant because…’
But there isn’t, it’s limbo land and it’s a land I’m totally fed up with.
Making myself accountable after having two weeks off plan, eating and drinking…..lots!
Oh dear, not good, not good at all. But putting it down here as made me stop and think, I need to get back onto it from today, now to give myself a swift kick.
One good thing from last week was the amount of miles my Fitbit clocked up. We were away camping for the weekend and the steps added up really quickly.
So here’s to a healthy week.
Yesterday we set off in the car for the mammoth journey to the fertility clinic that we will be receiving our IVF treatment from. Our local hospital doesn’t offer IVF so they feed into one that does. Unfortunately for us the one they choose to pick is a 2.5hr round trip for us (I can already tell this travelling will be fun…NOT)
We will be looked after by the assisted conception unit at Ninewells hospital in Dundee and yesterday was our first visit after getting to the top of the waiting list surprisingly quickly. The unit itself is lovely, modern and bright and it has this lovely picture on the wall which is made up of lots of tiny pictures of babies that they have made possible. It was lovely to look at whilst we were waiting to see the consultant.
We were called quite quickly to meet with the consultant in charge of our care, he seems really nice and he ran through what we would expect from them as a unit. I got weighed again (all fine and under bmi) and he ran through which protocol he thinks I will be on, though final confirmation of this will not happen until my bloods which were taken come back. This is because they are testing my AMHagain and dependent on the results of that the protocol and level of drugs they will use will be decided. He showed us the expected process and gave us a slideshow of how you move through your cycle, different pictures of the rooms used in the unit etc and the expected amount of times you will need to visit them in Dundee (five) He gave us plenty of time to ask questions and said that the maximum wait from now to starting will be no more than two months.
After meeting the consultant we then met with the Senior Charge Nurse, she did all my Observations, blood pressure etc and then took bloods, these bloods can take 4-6 weeks to come back and we don’t proceed any further with treatment until then. Once the treatment plan is decided they will contact me and let me know what protocol I will be on – long or short and if I need to take the nasal spray which will be posted out to me. She was really good and helped to make the visit quite lighthearted.
They suggested that I will be on their standard protocol which is a long protocol so from start to finish we would be looking at the cycle running around 6 weeks. All their injections come in preloaded syringes which will make it all the easier and hubby was able to breathe a sigh of relief that he wouldn’t be required to inject me!
So now we wait to find out when the big guns come out!!
This week has been stressful, I had a really important interview on Thursday for a promotion in my team and as the blog title tells you I got PROMOTED!
I found out yesterday afternoon, I wasn’t expecting the call quite so early so was totally caught off guard when my big manager called. To the point that I thought I had been offered a different post with different hours! There were two jobs on offer, one Mon-Fri and one for the out of hours service, which is the team I work for now, covering weekends and public holidays etc. I got Mon- Fri!! I’m over the moon with that, no more 7 days on in a row 🙂
I still can’t quite believe it, I never thought in a million years that not even five years after qualifying I have been promoted to a specialist nurse post. Amazing.
Who says Friday the 13th is unlucky?!?!
Wednesday comes round very quickly! Time for another weigh in day. My long dog walks added up to
with my Fitbit measuring a nice
I still really love my Fitbit and even quite a few months later it still drives me on to walk that bit more each day, it’s been worth every penny.
Eating wise has been a bit hit or miss. I eat when I’m anxious and seeing as I not only have an interview this week but also our IVF appointment coming up you can guess I’ve been eating too much at times. I have managed to keep it under control enough to still get a small loss this week which I’m happy with
I had wanted 2lbs this week and 2 next week to get to my own personal goal for IVF appointment but I doubt that will happen. Still though I am 11lbs under the weight they had set for me to join the list so I’m very happy with that!
So I finally managed to get myself back into some sort of healthy lifestyle choices this week after my big gain of the last few weeks. I’ve been back out doing my long dog walks, managing to clock up.
The Fitbit as usual as been running in the background all day and I’ve managed a nice
The major thing this week has been to get myself back into the zone for eating, I had found I was allowing little sneaky treats to slip back in here or there when I had relaxed ‘because I was on holiday’ I’m sure any one trying to lose weight knows exactly how that feels! So this week saw me back to basics, writing it all down. I also saved my syns up during the week as I had lunch out, Friday, Saturday & Sunday! I’m back to not drinking alcohol though and I’m very pleased to report last weeks gain to be gone.
Now I have two weeks to drop another 4lbs if I can to get me to my own goal for my initial IVF appointment…..
May has been a lovely busy month, here are some of the small things that have been making my month.
Hamish has been practicing what he learned in puppy school.
There have been plenty of coffee moments
Walks around the Kelpies
First attempts at crochet booties
Birthday present making
Woodland bluebell spotting
Wedding anniversary invite making for my in laws
Surprise travel plans
Remote island visits
Favourite drinks, drunk
Tall ships viewed
Important letters received
New job interview prep started
And #marriedmay taken part in