Well after a very stressful couple of days we made it back to Dundee for transfer day. We had had the call from the embryologist on day 3 and it wasn’t the news we had been hoping for. Of the seven that fertilised, four had not developed any further than 2-3 cells so were discarded and it was gutting. Of the other three, only one was graded as good with the other two being okay but not as good as they would like on day 3. It was like being kicked in the stomach, telling my husband was devastating. Would we even have one left on transfer day? Dundee culture all embryos to day 5 in the hope that they get to blastocyst stage which is the top quality embryo. This is good as hopefully you will get a great looking embryo at the end but it also means you run a very high chance of losing a lot of embryos that don’t manage to make it to day 5 and that’s what happened to us.
The day before transfer and waiting to meet with the embryologist was one of the most nerve wracking times I’ve had. I kept repeating to myself we would have one to transfer and one was enough, it was all in my power to get rid of the bad thoughts that maybe we had none….it wasn’t helped by the embryologist being slightly delayed to do our consultation. Every negative thought I had was creeping back in then.
Finally after what felt like weeks to us but was in fact only 20mins we went to meet with the embryologist to discuss how the embryos were looking and to find it if we had any to transfer. To hear the words as the door closed ‘it’s okay, it’s good news’ was more than a relief. I could have cried there and then with the relief. We only had one worth discussing for transfer but it was looking good. Embryos are graded and we had one good looking grade 4ab little blastocyst! The others really weren’t good enough to transfer back and he really didn’t think they would increase our chances of getting pregnant so it was recommended that we just put our one blasto back, which we agreed.
Thankfully I didn’t need to wait to long to go into the transfer room as the full bladder needed was starting to get a little uncomfortable. My husband did a good job of taking my mind of it, even if it meant giggling at him in his scrubs and hat for transfer. Everyone in the transfer room were lovely and put me at ease. I hadn’t read to much about transfer point so wasn’t sure what to expect. It was more uncomfortable than I thought it would be and must have been pulling some faces as my husband was telling me to squeeze is arm as much as I needed to. Oops.
Thankfully transfer doesn’t take to long and we got to watch it all on the ultrasound. Not that there is much to see, the embryo is that tiny that the only visible part is when it is released from the catheter and a small white speck appears on the screen then quickly disappears. If you weren’t watching and didn’t believe the consultant when he pointed it out you could be forgiven in thinking everyone had lost the plot.
However as it’s the first ultrasound of what will hopefully be our first baby I’m going to share with you our tiny little speck.
It was an emotional time, I think it was everything coming together, knowing that you have this fertilised little egg back on board, that we managed to get here, that we were in with a chance, it was all overwhelming and when we got back to the room we both hugged each other so tightly and both cried. It’s such a surreal feeling, we did joke that this is the most pregnant I have ever been and I’m now PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise) * infertility speak* Now we wait……
Snuggle in tight blasto baby.