Well that’s a title and a half isn’t it! Obviously those of you who follow my blog know all about my success with losing weight with Slimming World, being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and then finding out that after a long battle with infertility that I was pregnant.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently about how to manage my weight alongside having a healthy happy pregnancy with limited impact on my Multiple Sclerosis. There are lots of things to think about there, but already I’ve been met with a lot of comments verging more on the negative side. I know overall people don’t mean it but commenting on the fact that I’m trying to look after myself during this pregnancy by continuing to follow Slimming World is quite annoying!
My first trimester was not good eating and looking after myself wise. I had constant nausea from week 6-13 and the only thing that really helped was eating, but of course, fruit and vegetables weren’t going to cut it. The only thing that helped were white carbs and lots of them. When I eventually took myself back to my Slimming World group I had gained 13lbs at 15 weeks pregnant which was a shock to the system! But it was the shock that I needed to help me rethink exactly what I was doing (and eating) and thankfully my weight gain appears to have slowed down lots which is so much better for me both personally and physically.
I have another extra level to think about too with my recent diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. Before falling pregnant I was following a fairly strict MS friendly diet which again went to the wayside somewhat in the first trimester. The MS diet focuses a lot on keeping saturated fat content low along with being more plant based with no refinded foods and it gets great results. That is something that I am again trying to refocus on.
As I said, I’ve had lots of comments about why I’m crazy to be even thinking of following Slimming World, that I should just eat what I want, that I’m going to gain weight so just go with it, to not weigh myself at all during pregnancy as what’s the point. I obviously know I am going to gain weight and I’m happy to do so, this is something I have dreamed of for many years, jeez it was one of the key reasons I lost the weight in the first place. But I am not willing to jeopardise my health for ‘eating for two’ there is too much at risk for me if I gain too much weight.
So what’s the plan then? I have bought a gorgeous new pregnancy friendly slimming world diary which I’m going to start keeping track of what I’m eating, I’m going to weigh in at my Slimming World group monthly. I’m going back to basics with my MS friendly plan incorporated into Slimming World and I’m going to relax and be happy knowing that I’m doing my best to look after myself and my baby during pregnancy but also making as much attempt as I can to not be holding too much weight post birth that may affect my mobility with my MS.
My lovely Fox and Moon planner
Wish me luck!
This is a post that is very hard to write, pregnancy after infertility is not quite how I expected it to be. There I said it. It’s not all a bed of roses with happiness at every turn. In fact is currently the opposite really. I feel that infertility has robbed me of the joy of being pregnant, robbed me of my innocence where all things pregnancy are concerned. It has left me afraid to even enjoy being pregnant. Something I never thought I would be experiencing, something that I have found hard to acknowledge never mind talk about openly. But today I decided that that needed to change and I took to twitter to voice my worries over feeling detached and a little flat overall about being pregnant. It would seem that I am very much not alone in these thoughts, with so many lovely ladies reaching out to me today to say that they felt the same, that they understood. And do you know what I have realised today. It is okay to feel this way.
Pregnancy after infertility is a strange place to be, you are neither back in the trenches or really feeling that you belong in with other ‘fertile’ pregnant ladies, feeling isolated, feeling in limbo, not fitting in the infertility world any longer but not fitting in the fertile world either. I mean, would someone who never experienced the bumpy road of infertility understand why I am struggling to get excited about preparing for the baby, how I am not excited about choosing things for the nursery, about how it really doesn’t feel like I deserve this after this length of time, so why would it actually be happening to me?. Some of the friendships I have built up over the years from the blog and from twitter suddenly feel off-limits, not due to those lovely ladies, don’t get me wrong, everyone has been lovely to me. But I don’t want to hurt anyone. A pregnancy after infertility is hard enough sometimes for those still stuck waiting to see if their time will ever come, never mind one that actually ended up being a natural pregnancy.
Don’t get me wrong, I have had exciting times, I have felt emotions of joy and complete amazement that this is currently happening to me. But these feelings aren’t sustained currently, generally I am just feeling that little bit flat about it all. Why am posting about this though? Well I think that by talking about it, it will help me, by opening up to the fact that it is not what I expected it to be will help me to deal with the thoughts and emotions that are attached to that, help me to move on and get enjoyment out of the pregnancy that I have waited so long for. To no longer feel an imposter in the world of pregnancy.
It’s time for the small things that have made me smile this month. And in case you somehow missed it, this was the month we announced our lives were changing forever!
There were important announcements.
And important paperwork to be read.
Favourite flowers enjoyed.
Sunday afternoons spent laughing with the husband.
Valentines dinners enjoyed.
Unexpected post received ❤️
Seaside family weekends away enjoyed.
Family beach walks on breezy days.
Gorgeous sunrises enjoyed.
Such thoughtful gifts from friends received.
Birthday pancakes enjoyed.
Beautiful birthday flowers admired.
And birthdays finished with cheeky Nando’s.
Easy Starbucks enjoyed.
More surprise cards received.
Ickle baby bumps appearing.
And that was the amazing month of February.