I listened into the Fertility Focus Telesummit last week and really enjoyed it. There were some really interesting speakers and lots of hints and tips and things to look out for or try in our next few months whilst we wait for IVF. We are still hoping that it will happen naturally before then and have both decided that we are going to give it our all for these next 4 or 5 months.

There were a few things that were said that really made me think about how I live our situation day to day.

Create good emotional health through the whole of your life. Sjanie from The Fertile Body  reminded me that I need to find things I love doing, that make me feel good, that give me joy and a no brainer really….do these things more often. This is such a simple statement but something that is so easy to forget when you are in the throws of infertility. Suddenly instead of doing things you enjoy you are on the internet looking up so called symptoms or looking up things that may possibly help this month. Time flies past in a blur of trying to figure out what it is you are doing wrong.

This is where the next way of living needs to come in.


Implement the 80/20 rule. Anya from The Fertility Coach mentioned this and it really hit home to me. Think about who you are outside the infertility box and aim to implement the 80/20 rule when it comes to thinking about your fertility. Basically the trick is to spend 80% of the day trying as much as possible to live your life in the now, focus, yes you have guessed it on things that you love doing, that make you feel good and that give you joy. Then the other 20% of your day focus on and address your infertility. No longer allow yourself to feel that infertility is all of you. Spend time each day on your fertility, whether that be thinking about the future, planning things you need to do or focusing on the more positive things like fertility massage, relaxation, mindfulness etc.  It was even suggested putting these into your diary which I think is a great idea. It’s like giving yourself permission to have some me time and you know we all need me time.

So as you can gather the telesummit got me thinking, thinking about all the stuff I enjoy and why I am no longer finding the time to do it. Helped along by watching this video. It really made me think. One of the things that is holding me back is that I am spending far to long on my phone or iPad and not enough time living in the here in now. I may feel like I’m living in the here and now but I know I’m not and mainly using it as a distraction.

So here is my plan to make more time for and get back to doing the things I enjoy in life.

  • Delete Facebook from my phone
  • Cut down time on twitter dramatically
  • Going on from the facebook/twitter thing, my plan is to only allow myself to check it once in a while and not when I am watching TV! It’s so easy to watch a program but in fact you aren’t really concentrating on it more watching it with one eye on your phone and one on the TV.
  • Plan my time better in the evenings so that I feel I have time to do things I enjoy.
  • Get my crochet out, it’s been quite a while since I made anything. I’ve been putting it off as really I only learnt so I could make our baby things and that hasn’t happened. I need to find other things that I can make and get practicing again.
  • Start reading more in the evenings, especially when hubby has the TV for his many sports
  • Stop pining things on pinterest and actually start making them!
  • Spend more time with my friends
  • Spending time on my blog and following blogs that I love.
  • Make sure I am putting time in my diary for nice things to do with infertility. I want to spend time doing some visualisation/relaxation and learn more about nutrition for fertility and fertility massage. All of these things I have no doubt will make me feel far better about myself.

I think that all of this is achievable, in fact I deleted the facebook app of my phone yesterday and haven’t missed it. I have also been really limiting my time on twitter and yesterday after work I read my book and then watched a movie. Yesterday despite my period arriving I managed to live a near on perfect 80/20 day and do you know what? It felt good!

5 comments on “Applying the 80/20 rule to infertility.”

  1. So glad you are making choices that work for you Claire! I think feeling like you are doing what you want to be doing makes a massive difference x

    • Oh it really does, doesn’t it? I feel so much better this week even just allowing myself to watch a full tv programme without checking my phone or ipad. I’ve really enjoyed getting back to the things that I enjoy xx

  2. What a great inspiring post! The video did make me think, I get my phone out most for pictures & twitter. I think the capturing a moment in a photo is good but not just so I can share it but to enjoy it for myself. I have been working on relationships this year & it feels great making plans with friends & family. Def gonna schedule my time better too

  3. I am so guilty of being on my phone all the time in the evening, once Holden is in bed that I find myself missing bits and having to remind which is ridiculous!

    So pleased it helped already.

    I also need to get back to blogging, reading others and commenting again too.

    • It’s been so nice, though there have been times when I’ve felt I’ve missed out on things happening on social media…

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