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So here we are, still trying. On the day a new nephew arrived into the world my period turned up. Sod’s law!

We are now 2 years and 1 month since I stopped all birth control and we stopped not trying to not get pregnant. Cycle 19 from when we class ourselves as actively trying, meaning really thinking about cycle timing etc. numerous blood tests, scans and an HSG later and still no sign of an elusive positive pregnancy test and absolutely no reason why we haven’t had one yet.

So the thing I’ve been really trying to not think about, the thing I never dreamt we would be needing to do is now fast creeping up on me and I’m not really sure how I feel. I know I’ve been losing weight these last few weeks in preparation for it but I’ve never believed that we would actually be going.

Where to you may ask and what the heck is she talking about?!? The Fertility Clinic. Our last appointment was June, we were meant to go back in November but I rearranged it. Partly because I needed to lose weight but partly because I still didn’t believe we would be needing to go, but here we are today, period is in the house and the appointment card is glaring at me from the fridge door.

So the next step that was discussed in June was starting Clomid whilst going on the waiting list for IVF. There will need to be a change to that plan though as my BMI is still slightly too high for the IVF list, I presume I will not be able to go on it until I lose some more. I’m hopeful for starting Clomid though, I’ve looked up the trusts guidelines for prescribing it and my BMI is fine for that so I will be going back to my appointment armed with that information. Though if I’m honest I’m not too sure what help if any it will be. Clomid was designed for people who don’t ovulate (which I do) but is used in cases of ‘unexplained infertility’, most of the research I’ve found though doesn’t seem to promote its use with any figures of success rates of using it in this way. There is a lot to think about before I go back to the clinic. I also need to eat my words on saying I didn’t want Clomid, that was said when I truly didn’t believe I would ever need it.

For now though I am going to go and research Clomid a little more before our appointment. There are of course numerous great stories and numerous awful stories of side effects/effectiveness of this form of treatment and I want to make sure that I know more about it before I dive head first into my first steps of fertility treatment.

Clomid, it looks like I’m coming to get you.

Claire xx

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