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To blog about this topic or not? It’s always been something that I have wondered about, something that so many people go through in their lives but don’t talk about much. I still don’t know at the time of writing this when I will actually publish it but I really wanted to write about it as it’s such a big part of my life right now.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a talker, a sharer of things, I don’t keep a lot of things to myself, much preferring the problem shared is the problem halved sort of approach and in real life I have let a lot of people know what page we are on in terms of trying for a baby.
Is it not about time?? Are you next?? Ohh have you not made her a grandmother yet?? These are just some of the things that have been said to us since we got married. We have been married 17months and there is still no sign of a baby, not that we haven’t been trying, see we have, for what feels like forever to us but has only been 10 proper cycles (by proper I mean ones that I have been monitoring my fertile time correctly). We started out in the relaxed approach, you know the one that they all tell you you need to have, whether they have kids or not they seem to think that this is the one and only way to fall pregnant…. well I can say it’s not. Yes it helps if you are relaxed but it also helps to actually know when the right time is and to plan to get down to it on those days or the whole month is wasted. I feel that generally on the whole I am quite relaxed, I practice meditation regularly and find it really helps me to not stress all the time about what we are going through.
“Just forget about it, it will happen” so many people say this to someone who is trying, again I know where they are coming from, people can get very obsessed over trying to fall pregnant but you can’t just forget about it, once you start on this journey of planning to start your family you do need to think about it. There is only a small window each month where the timing is right and yes you do need to think a little about when this might be.
We have tried many things in these last 10 cycles, monitoring of ovulation with a Clearblue monitor being the main one, charting BBT, funky chicken everyday, funky chicken every other day, conception vitamins for him and her, acupuncture and the list probably goes on. Not everyone wants to do all of this stuff but as the months have gone on, I am clutching at straws for things that help me feel a little in control of a situation that I in fact have no control over whatsoever and I feel that they help me to remain sane on this emotional roller coaster, they don’t cause me any extra stress or harm us trying in anyway so I will keep going with them.
I always thought that falling pregnant was easy, well at least that’s what they always told me at school, but once you look into it it’s actually quite hard! On average most couples have a 1-6 chance of conceiving each month, this does increase with time and it’s estimated that within a year 84% of couples will be pregnant and 92% within 2 years (Pregnancy figures) which is good news for us as we come up close to a year of trying I’m hoping that we will soon be falling into the 84% group of people.
If you know someone who has shared they are going through difficulties in trying to conceive with you can I please ask you one thing? Don’t tell them to relax, to not think about it, simply just listen to them, it’s a harder journey than anyone can imagine, one where one month feels like 6 and lives wait on something we have no control over to come along and change our lives forever.
Hopefully ours will change forever soon.
This post was written in February but has been in drafts waiting on me feeling I could post it.