The Two Week Wait
Anyone who is trying to conceive (TTC) will know this dreaded time like the back of their hand, the time between ovulation and waiting on your period to arrive is more commonly called the two week wait. In medical terms it is your luteal phase and it is normally between 12-14 days long.
Until TTC I never knew that two weeks could feel so long, a time where you live in hope of this month being the one that will result in that longed for BFP (big fat positive) on the pregnancy test and more often than not reading into every possible thing you experience as being a sign you could be pregnant.
I have had a few two week waits where I have driven myself insane, looked into every single niggle, Dr Google becoming my best friend but of course only picking out the parts that I wanted to hear, the positive stories that my symptom of that time led to a BFP for someone, ignoring most of the things that told me I was being daft and convincing myself that this was the month because I had x,y & z so it must mean I was pregnant! Thankfully I’ve stopped most of that now though I do admit to still jumping on Dr Google here or there or surfing the Babyandbump website, though I learned pretty quickly to stay off the tww board on there! It would send you pretty daft if you let it.
I thought I would share with you some of my tips to help you get through the two week wait, they are working for me and I find most of the waiting game to not be to difficult anymore.
1- Take up blogging. I didn’t start this blog to talk about TTC but it is such a big part of my life and now that I have posted about our Journey it is a good distraction from actually always thinking about things if that makes sense.
2- Keep busy. Nothing helps more than keeping busy, if you are busy you can’t sit and think about it every second of the day. I took up crochet recently and have found that not only does it help me to relax but I’m that busy trying to figure out what I’m meant to be doing I don’t have time to think about what my body may or may not be doing.
3 – Spend some time relaxing. This is a hard one, relaxing in the two week wait is something that really needs to be worked at and certainly for me did not come naturally. To help me I turned to relaxation CD’s and in my searching came across Circle & Bloom they focus on having a healthy mind and healthy body and along with programs that you can buy they offer a free fertility relaxation 10 minute program that you can download if you click on there name above. I have found it to be really helpful and have since bought their program for natural fertility which I try to use most days. It at least gives you that 10-15 minutes time out each day which I find really useful.
4 – Stop Obsessing over ‘Pregnancy Symptoms’. I hear you already, this is easier said than done, but you really need to do it. Try talking to yourself rationally or talk to yourself as if it was a friend who was doing this to herself, what would you say to her? You need to keep telling yourself that many women get a BFP without any symptoms at all and others have all of the symptoms going but their period turns up religiously. The progesterone you produce after ovulation can cause you to feel all these so called ‘pregnancy symptoms’ whether you are pregnant or not. To try to lower you anxiety you really need to remember that signs don’t always mean anything and that this point I urge you to stay off Dr Google, he is the work of the devil in the two week wait.
5 – Support. As I have said before I am a talker, I feel that support during this whole process is really important, if you don’t feel you can lean on anyone in real life you can be anonymous on a forum like BabyandBump where you can talk to others in the same situation or start a journal. But if you do you need to remember point 4!! I have belonged to this forum for most of our time trying and have found it to be so helpful though you do need to be careful you don’t obsess on there maybe work on time limiting yourself to only being on the forums for a certain length of time per day. Also remember to lean on your partner, although they will never understand how it feels to go through the two week wait as you do, it is important to them as well.
6 – Pregnancy Tests. My tip is to set a date when you will test, say the day your period is due or the day before. Testing too early can really add to your stress and send you up the wall not to mention how much money it costs to be testing everyday from say 6 days before you are due on. And yes before you say it, I know that there are tests out there that say that they can show you up to 6 days before but if you do this each month and don’t get the results you want it can be a very expensive job keeping up with the amount of tests you are going to need!
It is difficult! I know only to well from experience that carrying on as normal through the two week wait can be one of the hardest things to do, you are trying to embark on one of the most life changing events and this could only be a few long days away, these days drag by and it’s so hard to not just focus on counting down the days. People who have never experienced the two week wait will find it difficult to understand the anxiety and obsessions that come from it and just how you are pining all hopes on this being your lucky month so my advice would be to not bring the subject up with them as their replies may just irritate you.
My own thing I hope is for us all to get back to living and enjoying our lives no matter which point in our cycle we are. We don’t need any extra stress or anxiety especially not stress that we bring onto ourselves. So if you are entering a two week wait soon, make a plan with yourself to try and take back some control it’s the only place we have the ability to!
Oberazzi via Compfight
I have seen other bloggers I follow doing this and thought it would be a bit of fun for my blog, so here are my 60 questions and answers.
1. How old are you in five years? 40!! Oh dear God….
2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today? My husband and our doggie.
3. How tall are you? 5 feet 10 inches
4. What is the last movie you saw? Argo, I ended up quite enjoying it. We are trying to watch more movies and Friday night is now movie night in our house.
5. Who called you last? My Mum, I missed the call as usual, it may help me to actually turn my ringer on!
6. Who did you call last? My Mum, as I needed to return her call I missed!
7. What was the last text message you received? My sister. She has just started making jewellery and was sending me pictures. I love seeing what she is making.
8. Do you prefer calling or texting? Texting normally but call my Mum & Dad as they are not so good with texting.
9. Are your parents married or divorced? Married.
10. When did you last see your mother? Actually about 10 days ago which is nice as we don’t live in the same country
11. What color eyes do you have? Green
12. When did you wake up today? 8.30am
13. What is your favorite Christmas song? Oh Holy Night (probably the only religious song I like)
14. What is your favorite place? Anywhere near the sea. Must be the Pisces in me
15. What place do you prefer the least? That’s a really hard one, I don’t think I have a place I would say I don’t like.
16. Where do you think you will find yourself in ten years? Hopefully a Mum with a least one child but hopefully two.
17. What scared you about the night as a child? Probably things living under the bed.
18. What made you really laugh last? A text from my sister telling me a story that she could hear her neighbours shouting at each other about.
19. How big is your bed? King size, I need my space when I am sleeping.
20. Do you have desktop or laptop computer? A laptop but to be honest the only thing I know use it for is blogging, most other things I do on my iPad.
21. Do you sleep with or without clothes on you? With, I’m not one for no jammies.
22. How many pillows do you have in bed? Two, one each.
23. How many provinces have you lived in? Not that many.
24. Which cities have you lived in? Not all cities but have lived in Belfast, Isle Of Man and now a town in Central Scotland between Glasgow and Edinburgh.
25. Do you prefer shoes, socks or bare feet? Socks or tights. Never barefoot, unless it’s summer and on grass!
26. Are you social? Quite but find it harder to be social as moved when I was older and it is much harder to make friends when everyone already has their own lives.
27. What is your favorite ice cream? Honeycomb
28. What is your favorite dessert? Apple pie and custard
29. Do you like Chinese food? Like it, favourite is probably beef and black bean or chicken curry
30. Do you like coffee? Yeah, don’t drink too much of it though and it has to be decaf.
31. What do you have for breakfast? Normally stick to cereal.
32. Do you sleep on a particular side? Right hand side, I sleep on my right normally and hate being able breath people’s breath so I need to be able to lie away.
33. Can you play poker? No
34. Do you like to cuddle / snuggle? I like it but I am not overly tactile.
35. Are you a dependent person? I like to think I am very independent. Though I love spending my life with my husband.
36. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? Yes quite a few
37. Do you have children? No but dream of having them sometime soon
38. Do you know any other languages than English? I learnt French at school and recently learned some Spanish for when we got married in Spain.
39. Have you ever driven an ambulance? No!
40. Do you prefer the ocean or a pool? Definitely the ocean.
41. What do you spend any money on? Books, things of eBay and lunches at work as I am too lazy to make them.
42. Do you have precious jewellery? My engagement and wedding ring are the most precious things I have.
43. What are your favorite shows on TV? My secret pleasure is Real Housewives (Currently making my way through Beverly Hills ones) love lots of things though and box sets with the husband.
44. Can you roll your tongue? No
45. Who is the funniest person you know? Probably my friend Kirsty – she has a very dry sense of humour
46. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No that is just a little weird as an adult
47. What is your ringtone? For my hubby it’s Jason Mraz I’m Yours For everyone else its Snow Patrol Crack the Shutters though I’m really bad at actually turning the ringer on!
48. Do you still have clothes from when you were little? No
49. What are you closest to you right now that is red? My Crochet bag
50. Do you flirt much? No
51. Can you change the oil on the car? I think I could if I had to
52. Have you received speeding ticket ever? No
53. What was the last book you read? Safe House by Chris Ewan, it was great.
54. Do you read a newspaper? I have to admit to reading Daily Mail online, though I take most of it with a pinch of salt!
55. Subscribe to a magazine? No. Though I have just discovered that you can get free subscriptions to certain magazines through our library so I have just started downloading them to my iPad.
56. Are you dancing in the car? Not right this second but I have been known to.
57. Which radio station did you listen to you last? Capital in the car today
58. What was the last thing you scribbled down on paper? The readings for the electric meter of our rental cottage
59. When were you at church last? Christmas Eve
60. Are you happy? Mostly yes
We headed off on holiday last week a little town on the West Coast of Scotland about 2.5hrs away from where we live. We stayed in a small village called Cairnbaan which is 3 miles from Logilphead and about 30 miles from Oban. It was lovely, so quiet and relaxing and just what we needed.
We had our dog with us, so we went out everyday and did lots of walking, the scenery around that area is just gorgeous and we were very lucky with the weather, we only got caught in one shower all week which is just amazing for Scotland!
The cottage we rented had a hot tub in its quite cute back garden, it was lovely to come back to after walking so much during the day and even though it was freezing outside you only needed to curse under your breath when you got out!!
We were not far from the start of the Kintyre way which is an 89 mile coastal walk that stretches from Tarbert harbour to Dunaverty in the South. We didn’t manage the whole 89 miles though! This is the view from the start overlooking Tarbert harbour with Tarbert Castle on the right.
Our pup had a total ball, he was off the lead most of the week and explored like there was no tomorrow, by the end of each day he was totally exhausted as were we.
We had packed a nice bottle of champagne to have, just because we were on holiday and decided to crack it open and jump in the hot tub….. amazing! Would make you want to get one for your back garden.
The area has too many lochs to count and loads of forests which are all really well-kept and most have great walks.
It was also really easy to reach the Atlantic Ocean and we went to a beach called Westport which is on the west coast of Kintyre, from here you can see the Mull of Kintyre, the Irish Coast line and also the Island Of Islay. The beach was totally empty so it felt amazing to be able to just walk along with no distractions and to take in the ocean. I love the ocean and could spend all day there. Where we used to live our house looked out at the sea and I miss that, I love having the chance to go to the ocean and this beach did not disappoint.
There was also miles and miles of canal paths that went alongside the most gorgeous forests, where we literally hardly met a soul all week, it was so nice to just walk and spend time with the hubby.
If anyone has never been and are thinking of holidaying in Scotland, I would really recommend this area. I wasn’t sure what to expect when we booked it but I was really impressed by the natural beauty that was around every corner. We all had a really really good relaxing week and I would love to be doing it all again this week.
Pawel Loj via Compfight
To blog about this topic or not? It’s always been something that I have wondered about, something that so many people go through in their lives but don’t talk about much. I still don’t know at the time of writing this when I will actually publish it but I really wanted to write about it as it’s such a big part of my life right now.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a talker, a sharer of things, I don’t keep a lot of things to myself, much preferring the problem shared is the problem halved sort of approach and in real life I have let a lot of people know what page we are on in terms of trying for a baby.
Is it not about time?? Are you next?? Ohh have you not made her a grandmother yet?? These are just some of the things that have been said to us since we got married. We have been married 17months and there is still no sign of a baby, not that we haven’t been trying, see we have, for what feels like forever to us but has only been 10 proper cycles (by proper I mean ones that I have been monitoring my fertile time correctly). We started out in the relaxed approach, you know the one that they all tell you you need to have, whether they have kids or not they seem to think that this is the one and only way to fall pregnant…. well I can say it’s not. Yes it helps if you are relaxed but it also helps to actually know when the right time is and to plan to get down to it on those days or the whole month is wasted. I feel that generally on the whole I am quite relaxed, I practice meditation regularly and find it really helps me to not stress all the time about what we are going through.
“Just forget about it, it will happen” so many people say this to someone who is trying, again I know where they are coming from, people can get very obsessed over trying to fall pregnant but you can’t just forget about it, once you start on this journey of planning to start your family you do need to think about it. There is only a small window each month where the timing is right and yes you do need to think a little about when this might be.
We have tried many things in these last 10 cycles, monitoring of ovulation with a Clearblue monitor being the main one, charting BBT, funky chicken everyday, funky chicken every other day, conception vitamins for him and her, acupuncture and the list probably goes on. Not everyone wants to do all of this stuff but as the months have gone on, I am clutching at straws for things that help me feel a little in control of a situation that I in fact have no control over whatsoever and I feel that they help me to remain sane on this emotional roller coaster, they don’t cause me any extra stress or harm us trying in anyway so I will keep going with them.
I always thought that falling pregnant was easy, well at least that’s what they always told me at school, but once you look into it it’s actually quite hard! On average most couples have a 1-6 chance of conceiving each month, this does increase with time and it’s estimated that within a year 84% of couples will be pregnant and 92% within 2 years (Pregnancy figures) which is good news for us as we come up close to a year of trying I’m hoping that we will soon be falling into the 84% group of people.
If you know someone who has shared they are going through difficulties in trying to conceive with you can I please ask you one thing? Don’t tell them to relax, to not think about it, simply just listen to them, it’s a harder journey than anyone can imagine, one where one month feels like 6 and lives wait on something we have no control over to come along and change our lives forever.
Hopefully ours will change forever soon.
This post was written in February but has been in drafts waiting on me feeling I could post it.
aussiegall via Compfight
Inspired by Rebecca over on Florence finds and her recent post The Big Spring List I decided to make my own list for things I would like to achieve over the next few months. Some may be more achievable than others!
- 1 – Spend more time doing things as a couple with my hubby. We have just come back from a lovely week away together and it has made me remember how much I enjoy spending time with him and how easily we can forget to actually ‘do’ things when we are at home.
- 2 – Following on from number 1, I want to find more walks that we can do with the dog or go to different places just for walks. We walked loads on our week away and both really enjoyed it.
- 3 – Finish my first ever crocheted blanket for my new niece or nephew. I am still learning crochet and this feels like a big project for me. Nearly finished it now though!
- 4 – Plan our holiday in June. We are spending two weeks touring Ireland in a motorhome so need some idea of where we are going and what we want to do.
- 5 – Get our garden ready for sitting out in. We plant pots and hanging baskets each year as it is far easier with the dog that having flower beds.
- 6 – Make some of the things I have pinned on pinterest.
- 7 – Get pregnant (this one is a whole other post in itself!)
What’s your plans?
I’ve joined Bloglovin, it is really good so far and I’m loving the fact I can comment so much more easily on other blogs now.
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We are off on a little holiday to here. We head away this afternoon for a week, just me, hubby and the dog and I can’t wait. A nice relaxed week just the two of us is just what the doctor ordered.
See you all when we get back.